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October 28, 2009

8 Mandates of a Father – Growing Kids God’s Way

A friend of mine posted this on his facebook account tonight and it reminded me of the great teaching we got as a part of the Growing Kids God’s Way small group Mandy and I were in. I thought I would repost it here for all the other fathers out there who could use a little encouragement.

(A mandate is something non-negotiable)

(Wives: please encourage and support your husband in this! Are you supporting these mandates? Helping, honoring, respecting him?)

It’s not the time I spend, it’s the quality of my RELATIONSHIP with my children. Their TRUST in me.

1. Cultivate a sense of family identity. A) verbally encourage my children. When I’m excited about the family, the children are excited. “This is a great family!” B) Know where I’m going with my family identity. Beautiful. Tight.

2. Provide an ongoing demonstration of love for my wife. If I really love my children, I will give them the gift of confidence and security in their parents’ relationship. Give my wife so much love it embarrasses the children!

3. I need to understand and respect my child’s private world. Stop what you’re doing. Listen. Be there. Give them the confidence that they can share their treasures with you. You never know when you’ll be invited in. Three worlds: A) Public. B) Personal. C) Private.

4. Give my children the freedom to fail. Failure is the first step to success; it builds wisdom. Children WILL fail; how will you respond? Children don’t fear failing; they fear failing dad.

5. I need to be the encourager of my family. Write little love notes to my children (lunchbox; backpack). My presence. My smile. Children need to know they have MY trust; give them opportunities to earn it. Create in them an HONEST trust in your leadership.

6. As a father, I must guard my tongue and my tone and learn to measure my response against the excitement on their faces. The more excited THEY are; the more excited I am!

7. I need to touch my children. Hold. Hug. Mom’s arms are comforting; dad’s arms are SECURITY. If you don’t touch your children, someone else will. Always hold them; always.

8. If I am going to build a trusting relationship with my children, it must be built on God’s Truth and not on man’s wisdom. Bible. My children see God through ME. My children will trust GOD based on how they trust me.

Prov 23:15 “Son, give me your heart”

Prov 23:26 “(child) if YOUR heart is wise; MY heart will rejoice”

You’re going to fail them sometimes. Remember to ask their forgiveness.

My relationship with my child is the precedent for their relationship with God. How am I doing with that?

Fathers and Mothers: am I doing it this way because that’s how my parents taught me, or because that’s God wants me to do it.

My prayer is that all of us fathers would take these points to heart.  Thanks for posting this Alex.

2 Comments on “8 Mandates of a Father – Growing Kids God’s Way

Mark
December 2, 2011 at 11:31 am

Good word brother.  A very encouraging reminder to me to love my children and set a good example for them.  God bless you.

Jeff Miles
December 3, 2011 at 9:12 am

Thanks Mark, glad you found my blog!

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